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Me: 03.06.2021 Meine liebliche sexy süße kleine Muse!   Having just finished work in the kitchen, prepared and enjoyed the meal made by myself, I take one of my books and begin my tranquil walk in the forest towards a small lake formed by a dam. I don’t need a mask, very rarely people come to this place. The animals already know me and don’t run away; I’m one of them, very hairy and rather wild appearance. It’s a bit like being surrounded by fauns, centaurs, Diana the goddess of hunting, and Narcissus being enchanted by his own image in the surface of the clear water of a fountain. Sitting down at the river-lake shore, I open my book and get carried away by the events depicted in the story. Far, far away from real life, just like if it wouldn’t even exist. And then, there is you! How do you do? Where are you now? What do you do? What are you up to? What is your reality like at the moment? Many questions and not many answers! I sit in the shadow, my feet in the cool water, hardly any cloud in the sky, which could take my thoughts to you!   Meine liebliche sexy süße kleine Muse! I wish you were here with me in my arms and your head reposing on my shoulder!

Krystina: 04.06.2021 I spent every my free moment on my daughter's plot.  When her new house be ready,  maybe I will be free

Me: 05.06.2021 Meine liebliche sexy süße kleine Muse!   This is wonderful news! Me too, I’m free like a bird. And how does it feel for you to be free? What do you want to do when you are free? What kind of freedom do you imagine for yourself? How will you organize your life in the future? Do you first want to enjoy your freedom alone? (For someone, who has been a kind of prisoner for such a long time, or better said: for almost all your lifetime, freedom first has to be learned and enjoyed. I remember when I was in real prison, the longest term was 28 month, and all in all it was 5 years, I needed nearly a year to get used to not being in prison anymore. Or better said: for me to come to Poland with you without any identification documents will take at least some time, we will have to wait, I think at least 2 years. So you will have a lot of time to think about and then to decide what it is that you really want. But even if you decided to continue your life without me, you must know that you are the most important person in my life and I will always try to stay in touch with you. It would be horrible even to imagine to live together with you in the conscience that it was only out of responsibility that you stayed with me. In that case, even Greece with a guitar seems more attractive to me. It would make life for us both unbearable. The opinion of your mother, brother and your children were always very important to you. What will they say or think about it? Is it (maybe) a kind of light at the end of a very long tunnel? Many more questions! Sometimes, I have the impression that I’ve come to a kind of terminal (end-station). My train of life has stopped, it got stuck somehow. But I can survive here, where I am. There doesn’t seem to be any danger for me of getting kicked out. Of course, I know that it’s not a solution for ever, sooner or later, something will happen or something will have to be done about it. However, extreme situations or circumstances require extreme solutions. And this is not the first time in my life that I have to face things like that. Me too, I have to ask myself many questions and there are not many answers either.   Meine liebliche sexy süße kleine Muse! Covering you with thousand kisses!

Krystina: 05.06.2021 Important is positive thinking 🙂.  You spent 28 months in prison, I spent 36 years. I think It is enough. Lots of hugs and kisses

Me: 07.06.2021 Meine liebliche sexy süße kleine Muse!   I have a lot of time to think and I do it in a very constructive way. I do see reality as it is. I’m 54 years old now, other people are waiting for their retirement at this age. In my case, it’s different, I won’t get a pension. And who needs an elderly man, even if very intelligent and educated (and not only a bit better than the average but surpassing as well intellectuals working at universities.) I’ve rarely met somebody like myself. (and this is not arrogant self-confidence, it’s a fact) However, what has really changed? Since the time, I left Germany, 36 years ago, I’ve always lived like that, without identification documents, worked illegally. The difference? Even 20 years ago, I could still rent a flat without documents. Being a foreigner, a German, in Hungary meant to be a kind of star because everybody wanted to learn languages. I speak 7 languages, actually. Therefore, I was a superstar. (There was a time when I thought, I could live on like that till the end of my life and I must admit that I was nearly bored by this kind of tranquillity.) But with the internet and computer technics, translation programs, language knowledge is not as important as it was before. Sometimes a cook is more rewarded than a linguist is. I’m a writer, and a good one (I say this because I’ve studied literature a lot and I know that my writings are brilliant. Once, I wrote: “I’m sure that my works are much better than what is sold as bestsellers in bookshops but probably there are many unknown writers just like me who are better than me.). But who would pay for literature now. I’m sure my writings will get famous one day, probably after my death, this makes me immortal. However, it doesn’t help me now. You see! I’m rather realistic. Of course, everything would be different if I had identification documents but I’m not going to run for them. I’m a rebel and I’m proud to be one, probably one of the few really independent people in the world. However, after you having read my message, you can see I’m not pessimistic, I look at my future rather with a smile!   Meine liebliche sexy süße kleine Muse! I miss you a lot, one day if I have the opportunity, I will tenderly bite you!

Krystina: 07.06.2021 My lovely rebel,  i must admit, you are unique! 😀

Me: 09.06.2021 Meine liebliche sexy süße kleine Muse!   possibly a true story (in memory of the events at Tiananmen Square protests April 15, 1989 – June 4, 1989) The old monkey sat in front of his cave. It was a very hot day; therefore, he was bathing his feet in the fountain under a big tree. He lived there alone and only very few monkeys visited him because of being considered an outcast by the monkeys in the valleys around. One of those visitors was a female. Many years ago, the old had helped her out of the raging water of the river. He had told her not to tell anybody about the event because he did not want the gratitude of those ungrateful monkeys. So, from time to time, the female visited the old at his cave and then, they talked giving her advice. One has more problems in society than alone in a cave. So, one day, she came again but that time she was very agitated and sad. She told him about her son who wanted to join a group of rebels against the king. He had never told her about his past and because out of discretion, she had never asked him. However now, he felt the time had come to tell her the story of his life. Many years ago when he had been very young, he was a very talented scientist, many predicted him a brilliant future, his family had excellent contacts to the king and his system, he had a lover he wanted to marry and many monkeys liked to call themselves his friend. However then, he got into conflict with the king. He was admonished by everybody around to integrate and not to rebel but he knew that he was right and continued his rebellion. The king wanted to put him into prison but he preferred to flee and began to live alone in the mountains. Later, he was informed that his girlfriend had found another male close to the circle of the king and that his friends were all well off serving the system regarding him as a bit stupid. However, not everything was perfect for the king anymore because now, he was afraid of his subjects and many had lost faith in the system. This was the grandfather of the nowadays king and now this female in front of him came to tell him that her son wanted to join a group of rebels against the king, the grandson. What should he tell her? Should he convince her to tell her son that he had to integrate and not to rebel? Maybe, he could integrate and continue his live without backbone. There are so many feet lickers and henchmen, one more or less doesn’t really matter. He stayed silent for a long time while the female in front of him was crying about the fate of her son. “If your son really chooses to rebel against the king, he will lose everything, his family, friends, girlfriend. However, you can do nothing better than be proud of him. In your lifetime, he will be considered an outlaw, an outcast, stupid and silly like me, but some centuries in the future, after his death, he will be considered a hero.”   Meine liebliche sexy süße kleine Muse! A tale inspired by you! Thousand kisses!

Me: 11.06.2021 Meine liebliche sexy süße kleine Muse!   That could be the beginning of a tale but I don’t know the end yet.   The stranger   Once upon a time, there was a valley of monkeys surrounded by high mountains and the river which crossed the valley came out of a cave of a mountain on one side of the valley and disappeared in a cave of a mountain on the other side of the valley. They believed that the mountains were their gods and protected them from the wide and seemingly dangerous infinity above them. The monkeys there were very peaceful, even more because they had never gone across the heights and no intruders or visitors had ever shown up, that way they had never met other monkeys. The inhabitants had all short ears, only a handful of them, two or three families, had long ears. Nobody knew where the long-eared had come from, seemingly they had as well always been there. The short-eared didn’t mix up with the long-eared and as a result of that the long-eared kept their genetic information within their small group.   First they tried to get recognition by climbing up the ladder of the religious institutions Second they tried to get recognition by being good businessmen Third they tried to get good contacts to the king and his entourage Fourth they tried not to be too visible and remained poor in the outskirts of the settlements   But they always met disapproval by the short-eared monkeys because they were different   But I’m not at all satisfied with it because it’s too simple and transparent, without any suspense.   Meine liebliche sexy süße kleine Muse! You are never alone in the evening because I’m always with you!

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